


the heat that drives the light

by The_IPRE



Series: The Cuddling Chronicles [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beaujester Week, Day 2: Roommates/Parallels, F/F, Sharing a Bed, Spooning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 12:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19992505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_IPRE/pseuds/The_IPRE
Summary: “What are we doing?”A pause. “Spooning?”“What? I mean, no, I know that we’re spooning, but is that all?”





	the heat that drives the light

**Author's Note:**

> Only really works as parallel if you read the first work in the series~  
> Again, title from Hozier lyrics generator

Jester was warm, but even though she was starting to feel like she was suffocating in the heat she wasn’t going to just  _ move _ . Beau had an arm slung over her waist, and their fingers were linked, and every time she exhaled, damp air brushed against Jester’s shoulder. 

The cuddling had been going on for months now, so long that it had been their habit anytime they had to share a bed – or were in the dome, or really were anywhere next to each other when they fell asleep – but even though Jester had been the one to first initiate the whole thing she still found herself teetering closer to being off kilter every time Beau pulled herself closer. 

None of her books had prepared her for any of this. If people slept together they always would end up having sex that  _ night, _ overcome with passion and the touch of skin against skin. They definitely wouldn’t draw it out for weeks, much less  _ months _ , and Jester  _ had _ been learning that her porn books weren’t always the best representation of real romance, but they didn’t even help her with this at  _ all _ . 

And then sometimes she would start to think that Beau wasn’t interested in her  _ like that _ , because surely if she was she would have done  _ something _ , but then she would feel lips against the skin of her shoulders or a murmured “love you” before they fell asleep, and Jester would fall right back into that confusing pit of wondering what was really going on. All this would be so much easier if she just liked Beau as a friend, but then her traitorous heart had to go and bring up the word  _ love _ and there was no amount of running or avoiding that she could do to get away from that.

Jester was stuck in that swirl of thoughts, tense despite her best efforts, and she could tell that Beau hadn’t quite fallen asleep yet. Her breathing was light as she exhaled and she kept shifting, trying to pull herself closer to Jester, who felt like she was moments away from shaking herself apart with every touch.

It would be so easy to just be quiet, and wait for hours until her mind quieted enough that she could sleep – she would know, she had tried that  _ many _ times before – and she didn’t want to lose whatever this was, but...

Well, at this point, she just had to jump off the cliff and hope that there was something better than a river of flesh waiting for her at the bottom.

Jester took a breath, steadying herself, but even as she whispered she almost hoped that Beau wouldn’t hear her, or even if she did that she wouldn’t  _ respond _ . “Beau?” There was rustling as she stirred, moving her head so that Jester could feel her breath on her cheek, and Jester twisted her lips but pushed forward anyway. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah?” Beau’s voice was quieter than a whisper, and Jester felt it against her chest when she cleared her throat. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, really, it’s just that...” Jester paused, pressing backward without even thinking about it as she tried to figure out what she was going to say. Beau’s arm tightened around her, steadying, and Jester blew out a breath, pursed her lips, and pushed forward. “What are we doing?”

A pause. “Spooning?”

“What? I mean, no, I  _ know _ that we’re spooning, but is that  _ all _ ?” Beau’s grip loosened, and Jester didn’t want to be  _ needy _ , she’d been trying to give her space this whole time, but she was trying to put her heart on her sleeve here! So she held Beau’s hand more tightly, closed her eyes because even if she couldn’t see Beau’s face she could just picture it, and even though she didn’t have the words she wanted she kept talking. “It’s- not that it isn’t good, but this has been going on for  _ so _ long, and I didn’t want to pressure you, you know? But then you would do something and I would think, hey, maybe she’s going to make the next move, but then I wouldn’t be able to tell if it was a mistake or not, and I even tried to put your hand on my boob once but that didn’t work, and just-“

Jester stopped herself, and her breathing might have been a little fast, and Beau might have felt like she was holding her breath against her back, and her eyes were still closed when she said one last thing. 

“What do we do now?”

Beau was quiet, and the only thing keeping Jester from throwing herself from the bed - and possibly out the window - was the brush of Beau’s thumb against the edges of her fingers. 

“I mean, you don’t have to answer, it’s not really that important-“

“Jes, I-“

Their voices overlapped, and Jester giggled, a little nervous. “No, Beau, you go first.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure.” She paused, licking her lips, eyes fluttering open despite herself. “What were you gonna say?”

Beau turned her head, and her exhale was warm against Jesters skin. “I was trying to give you space too,” she said, and she huffed out a breath that might have been a laugh. “I wanted to take it at your speed ‘cause I didn’t want to fuck it up, but it looks like I might have been wrong on that count, huh?”

“Maybe just a little,” Jester said, and she still had something of a death grip on Beau’s hand but she also felt herself smiling. “You just- you always seem like you’re loud about liking someone? Like with Yasha, when you wanted to get held by her, or see her in the baths, you didn’t, like, dance around the issue or whatever.”

“Yeah, well, that was before I knew her. It’s easy to be loud or brave or stupid when you don’t care how it ends, and that kind of flirting doesn’t really matter. Now, though, I...I care about her, and I care about  _ you _ , and now that there’s something to fuck up I don’t- well, I don’t want to ruin it.” Jester could feel Beau’s smile against her shoulder, and even though she was starting to feel hopeful the twist of nerves was still there, but she was smiling too.

“Well, I don’t want to ruin things either,” Jester said, squeezing Beau’s hand, and there was a flutter in her chest when Beau squeezed back.

There was a pause, and Jester wanted to talk to fill it because the quiet was almost as suffocating as the heat, but she didn’t know what to  _ say _ , and she let out a relieved breath when Beau started talking instead. “Hey, Jes? Will you- can you turn around? Not that I’m not a fan of this, but, you know, it might be nice to see your face.”

Jester giggled, and moving was kind of awkward but she rolled over, and they were so close that it made her ache. Her nose was brushing against Beau’s, and even as one hand was tucked close to her stomach the other curled around Beau’s waist. 

Beau was squinting a bit and Jester was suddenly reminded that she didn’t have darkvision, and she stuck out her tongue just a bit.

The problem was that Beau had moved at the same time, and, well-

“Did you just lick me?”

“What? No,” Jester said, drawing out the word, before laughing, that light twisting still twining in between her ribs. “I mean, maybe, but it wasn’t on purpose, but actually yeah, I did.”

Beau snorted and poked Jester in the stomach, but before things could escalate further – and they definitely would have, Jester never lost tickle wars – she held up a hand in surrender. “Ack, no, that’s not what I was trying to do, I was just trying to say...”

Beau huffed out a breath, flickering her eyes away before settling a hand on Jester’s hip and brushing a thumb along the sliver of exposed skin. “I didn’t want to rush you. I mean, fuck, you thought smut novels were an accurate representation of romance until recently, I didn’t want to fuck you over by not living up to expectations. And then I hadn’t said anything, and I kept feeling like I couldn’t just say something, so. There you go.” Beau was looking at Jester but her eyes were a bit unfocused, unable to see clearly in the dark. “For the record, though, I do like you. As more than just a friend. Like I  _ like you _ ...yeah. God, I sound like a fucking teenager,” she said, laughing and turning away, but she froze when Jester rested her hand along the side of her jaw. 

The heat was almost becoming unbearable, the warm air that they exhaled swirling and mixing between them, and Jester felt like her fingertips were burning where they rested against Beau’s skin. “Well, if it’s  _ for the record _ ,” she whispered, watching as Beau’s eyelashes fluttered closed and open in a blink, still focused on Jester with an energy that was almost palpable. “I  _ like you _ like you too.” 

“Oh, well. That’s- that’s good, then,” Beau whispered, voice caught up and quiet in her throat, and Jester couldn’t keep herself from looking at her lips. She didn’t really want to stop herself, but there was something almost disappointing about the fact that Beau couldn’t see her well enough to know what she was doing.

Beau’s grip on her hip tightened and Jester found herself pulled in until skin was pressing against skin and it was too warm, the cover had been kicked off long ago but the air was still pressing in on them both, hot and heavy and still until the only living things were her and Beau, steadily moving in towards each other.

Then their lips were touching and...well, it wasn’t all fireworks and flowers like some books would have led her to believe, but Beau’s lips were soft, and her body was all tense lines and warm skin thrumming with energy, and Jester felt like she was melting.

Of all the ways to go, though, she would pick the warmth of Beau’s skin against hers every time.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a comment or kudos, or come talk to me on tumblr at [the-ipre](https://the-ipre.tumblr.com)!


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